


Recall This Message

by writeonclara



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Humor, M/M, Merlin is oblivious, Office Setting, Wrong Email!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-19
Updated: 2014-03-19
Packaged: 2018-01-16 07:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1337473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeonclara/pseuds/writeonclara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>apendragon says,</b> i just told merlin emrys that i want to bend him over my desk so i need to get pissed<br/><b>gwainegreene says,</b> on it</p>
<p>For the kink meme prompt: In a flurry of snarky emails to co-worker Merlin Emrys, Arthur Pendragon composes and accidentally hits SEND on one with his true thoughts about what he'd like to do with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recall This Message

**Author's Note:**

> Last of my kink meme fills. Only slight changes. Originally posted for this prompt: http://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/35114.html?thread=37434922#t37434922

From: apendragon@camelot.com  
To: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: RE: EOM PNL report

Look, let's go to the pub, yeah? I mean, on a date. The thing is, I might sort of fancy you, and while I'm not complaining about the textual foreplay, it's not really enough. I'd rather bend you over my desk and wipe that stupid grin off your face. Do...things to your ears. Like lick them or something.

 

Merlin gaped at his email. This was—not what he was expecting in response to:

 

From: memrys@camelot.com  
To: apendragon@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: EOM PNL report

your face is a prat

 

He sat back. Considered the merits of sexual harassment, if this was Arthur's idea of a prank. Yes, that could work. "Excuse me, Mr. Pendragon? Your son is sending me inappropriate emails and I would like to file a complaint." If he didn't get laughed right out of the office, Merlin had a strong suspicion that Uther Pendragon would find a way to legalize beheadings so that he could hack at Merlin's neck with a letter opener.

He clicked Reply.

 

From: memrys@camelot.com  
To: apendragon@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: EOM PNL report

What?

 

Then he just hovered around the Send button, not sure if he was brave enough to engage Arthur with whatever he was playing at now. He leaned over, poking his head into his neighbour's cube.

"Hsst! Gwen!"

"What, Merlin?"

Gwen was horribly efficient at her job and wouldn't ever do something as immature as calling the son of Camelot's founder a 'knobless knob-head,' (to which Arthur had responded with, "That's contradictory"), but she was a good sport so she abandoned the email she had been typing to turn to Merlin.

"I think Pendragon just asked me out."

"Senior or junior?"

Merlin must have looked scandalised, because Gwen snorted.

" _Junior_ , and I'll thank you to never put the image of the former into my head ever again. Please."

"Well, what did he say?"

Merlin scooted into her cube, ducking his head closer to hers. "He said—he said he wanted to bend me over his desk."

Gwen's aborted shriek came out something like a strangled squeak. "No!"

"And that he wanted to lick my ears."

Near hysterical laughter was not what he had hoped to get from his confidant. Gwen clamped both of her hands over her mouth when Sophia from Accounting glared at them from the opposite cube.

"Shut up, shut up," Merlin pleaded, shaking her chair a little. "If he hears you, he'll _know_."

"Sorry, sorry." Gwen wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "He did not say he wanted to 'lick your ears'."

"I'm afraid he did," said Merlin, apologetically.

"What are you going to say back to him?"

"I don't know! 'If you're playing I'm going to file sexual harassment'. Oh wait." Merlin dragged himself back to his desk. "He's sent me another email."

Gwen gave up all pretenses of working and scrambled over to his cube, looking over his shoulder.

 

From: apendragon@camelot.com  
To: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: RE: EOM PNL report – DISREGARD

 

"The email's blank," said Gwen, disappointed.

"See? It was a joke."

"I don't know. Why would he send another email telling you to disregard it, then?"

"He's realised the error of his ways in the face of potential sexual harassment suits."

"Oh, bad sport!" Gwen tutted.

"That was a terrible seduction email, anyway. He wants to 'lick my ears or something'?" Merlin sniffed. All this accomplished in doing was setting Gwen off again. He sighed and closed Arthur's email.

"Come on, you're hopeless. Let's have a smoke."

* * *

The next time Merlin saw Arthur again it was in the break room, and when Arthur noticed Merlin, he looked longingly towards the exit (that Merlin was inconveniently blocking). For the first time, Merlin wondered if Gwen might be on to something. He decided to give Arthur a break.

"So, my ears."

It was only with Arthur that his good intentions went to hell.

Arthur's calm disposition was belied by the dull blush high on his cheeks. He cleared his throat, looked as if he wanted to say something, then gave it up as a bad job and pushed past Merlin to flee to his office.

"Shit," said the suddenly enlightened Merlin to the empty break room.

* * *

Merlin considered sharing his break room revelation with Gwen, but after staring at his PNL report for five minutes, scrolling up and down and in his spreadsheet and doing a whole lot of nothing, he thought, why the hell not, and opened a new email.

 

From: memrys@camelot.com  
To: apendragon@camelot.com  
Subject: ears

Just because I have a lot of them doesn't mean they're sensitive.

 

He clicked send before he could talk himself out of it, then minimized his email client to pretend he hadn't just done that.

Five minutes later, a message alert appeared on the right hand corner of his screen.

 

From: apendragon@camelot.com  
To: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: ears

You have more than two ears?

 

Merlin snorted, something uncoiling in his stomach at Arthur's mocking tone. It wasn't as if he had any relationship to speak of with Arthur Pendragon, but the handful of correspondences he had with the man had always been—well, not really lighthearted, but he _liked_ their snarky banter. He clicked print on his report and made his way over to the scanner/printer/copier/people-eater.

This time, when he saw Arthur, it was consciously. He dropped the report on Arthur's ridiculous desk, then picked it up and threw it onto the desk again when Arthur didn't look away from his computer screen.

The desk that Arthur wanted to bend him over.

And really, it was all too easy to picture it. Merlin would need to brace himself on the smooth mahogany, fingers splayed, wood cool under his palms, trousers slung just below his ass. Arthur would have one hand tangled in Merlin's hair, pulling his head back. He wouldn't even need to pull his trousers down, he would just unzip his flies and—oh, _hell_.

By the time Merlin was able to pull his blushing self out of that ill-advised little fantasy, Arthur was looking at him with an arched eyebrow. He looked cool. Composed. As if he hadn't just told Merlin he wanted to lick his ears. Probably he drew self-confidence right out of that imposing desk.

"You could have just emailed me," said Arthur, then looked as if he was refusing to blush by scowling instead.

"I've fixed my report," Merlin meant to say. Instead, he blurted, "I have eight."

"Eight?"

"Ears."

Arthur snorted. His eyes crinkled when he did that. Merlin realised he might be a little doomed.

"Sorry, have to pee," he said with a grin that probably looked mad and made a tactical retreat to the loo. Then, he dropped his head into his hands and groaned. 

This would have been a perfect time to have a crisis about his sexuality. Except, well, he just told Arthur Pendragon that he had to pee. _Christ_.

* * *

Arthur watched as Merlin flounced out of his office, amused. He probably could have gone his entire life without knowing that. Yet instead of being put off, he was just sort of—fond? Further proof that this was a lasting affliction.

Merlin was taking this far better than Arthur had thought possible, when he had realised he accidentally clicked Send on that damn email and then went to retrieve his stomach from where it landed somewhere on the ground floor. Or maybe Merlin was just treating it all as a joke to save Arthur from the humiliation and oh my god Arthur wondered if being sick on his father's shoes was a realistic enough reason to go home for the rest of the day. He could be sick. It wouldn't be a challenge at all.

An email alert popped up in the right corner of his screen.

 

From: mlafaye@camelot.com  
To: apendragon@camelot.com  
Subject: Despoiling employees?

Was that Merlin Emrys fleeing from your office like you had just taken his virtue? Please tell me you didn't.

 

From: apendragon@camelot.com  
To: mlafaye@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: Despoiling employees?

I know you're just looking for a reason to get me sacked. Won't work. He's straight.

 

From: mlafaye@camelot.com  
To: apendragon@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: Despoiling employees?

What did you say to him, then? He was blushing like a schoolboy.

 

Arthur peered out the window of his office and into Morgana's, making sure that she was actually at her desk and not emailing through her phone, then opened a chat.

 

**apendragon says,** he just told me he had to pee and then ran away

 

Arthur could see Morgana burst into startled laughter in her office.

 

**mlafaye says,** No, really!  
 **apendragon says,** i'm afraid so  
 **mlafaye says,** Poor boy.  
 **mlafaye says,** How do you know he's not gay?

 

Arthur spun in his chair, considering her question.

 

**apendragon says,** he had a girlfriend  
 **mlafaye says,** So?

 

She had a point. Arthur dropped his head in her hands, hating how her words filled him with treacherous hope.

 

**mlafaye says,** I'm just saying he probably wouldn't have run out of your office looking like you had just propositioned him if he wasn't a little bit interested.

 

Arthur groaned, hopes dashed. He reached over with one hand and opened another chat.

 

**apendragon says,** i just told merlin emrys that i want to bend him over my desk so i need to get pissed  
 **gwainegreene says,** on it

* * *

"Sienna Miller."

"Marilyn Manson."

"Oi!"

Arthur lifted his drink, scowling at Gwaine with his eyebrows. He didn't know how he did it, but somehow Gwaine managed to coerce the pair beside them into a drinking game. The couple was clearly on a first date and, according to Gwaine, there was a distinct lack of sparks flying. Arthur really didn't care about their first date woes. He was just in it for the beer, being that it was Tuesday and he had just effectively ruined his life.

"Michael Sheen," he said.

The girl was cute, blonde and a little on the loud side, but the man, Lance, was fucking gorgeous. Wavy black hair, killer cheekbones, and a shy sort of smile that might have done things to Arthur if he hadn't been so arse over tits for another set of cheekbones. Arthur sighed and took another swig of his beer, even though the blonde—Elena, she said her name was—was shouting her answer triumphantly at Gwaine. 

It had started with:

"I wrote one of those closure letters to Merlin—you know, the kinds that those self-help books tell you to write—basically saying I wanted to bend him over my desk and _lick his ears_ —and then I sent my father my forecast. Only, ten minutes later I got an email from the pater asking where my numbers were and I saw my email with my forecast was still open, and the one about ear-licking sitting in my Sent folder."

Gwaine winced and said, "Bad luck, mate," then bought him a pint.

And now Gwaine was pulling another bloke's date and Arthur was finding the alcohol really wasn't helping as much as he had hoped.

In retrospect, he thought he might have been doing the whole "closure" thing wrong. He had a feeling they were supposed to be more about saying goodbye and forgiveness and all that rot, instead of about wanting to have a fuck.

What really killed him was that he was normally so good about looking over his emails before sending them out. But the end of the month was always so bloody chaotic and his father had been storming in and out of his office the entire week, and he had just wanted to get his father off his back. So he had been careless. 

"Jason Statham," Gwaine said, and Arthur lifted his drink on cue.

"Mind if we join?"

Arthur's entire body tensed all at once, and before he could answer around his mouthful of beer, Merlin Bloody Emrys slipped into the seat next to his. His usual partner in crime, Gwen Smith, took the seat next to Lance. Arthur knew what he must look like, tie untied, eyes bugging, beer sloshing around in his pint due to his sudden inability to swallow. He might choke. He might choke and die from beer because _that was just his fucking luck_.

"Sienna Miller," he croaked.

"You just said her, mate! I mean, literally on your last turn. Drink again!"

"Sir Elton John."

"That doesn't count!" Elena cackled, and really, she was starting to get on Arthur's nerves.

"Stephen Fry," Merlin whispered to Arthur.

"Stephen Fry," said Arthur, with a triumphant grin.

"Oh you bloody cheater. Fine, fine," Lance said good naturedly, having brightened up considerably at Gwen's appearance.

"Sorry," Merlin said. "Gwen didn't think it was fair to have two third wheels on a date." Merlin nodded towards Gwaine and Elena.

"They're not dating," said Arthur. He slipped into his tight business tone. "Those two are." He pointed with his chin to Lance and Elena, who had their backs turned to each other.

"You know, something tells me they're not going to last."

"Yeah? What clued you in?"

"I'm unusually perceptive to these sorts of romantic things."

Everything got awkward really fast at that, since, no, Merlin was not at all perceptive to 'these sorts of romantic things.' At least, not when it came to Arthur.

"Look, about your email—"

Arthur interrupted him with a panicked manly yell (more of a yelp, if he wanted to be completely honest with himself).

"I just wanted to say—"

Arthur gave another manly yell. Merlin frowned at him.

"Nothing! You wanted to say nothing, because there's nothing to say. It was a closure email—um, an email for closure."

"Really? Because it seemed more like an email about wanting to fuck me."

"Are you actually _trying_ to kill me? Because you're doing a fine job."

"Sorry."

After a moment of painfully awkward silence, Merlin said, "I'm not gay, but—" because he clearly _was_ trying to kill Arthur.

"Would you like a gold star, or something? I'm sure there's one somewhere. The 'I'm-not-gay' gold star." And what the fuck was Arthur talking about. Clearly, this had been a terrible idea. 

He stood up abruptly, startling Lance. He felt sick. "I've got to go. Get my tab, will you? I'll do next time."

"Arthur, wait—" 

Arthur left the pub.

* * *

The next morning, Merlin walked up to his desk and groaned.

"What's that?" Gwen asked, peering over their shared cube wall.

Merlin held up a gold star the size of a plate.

* * *

WE NEED TO TALK

Arthur frowned at his computer screen. There was a knock on his window, but he just scowled harder.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Merlin huff in exasperation and pull a marker from behind one of his stupid ears. He uncapped the marker with his teeth and braced the paper where he had scrawled his first message against the glass. He quickly wrote something on the back, then flipped the sheet over so Arthur could see his new message.

YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH

"There's nothing to say!" Arthur shouted at the window.

Merlin rolled his eyes and started writing again, but whatever else he had to tell Arthur was lost when he suddenly jumped and scampered out of view. It was clear why when Uther suddenly appeared at his door, frowning when he found it locked.

Arthur sighed and pushed away from his desk. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

"I don't know what I'm doing."

"Not your work, I see."

"I don't actually _like_ blokes."

Gwen sighed and gave up on the display ad that Merlin really had needed by the end of the day. "Well, he is Arthur Pendragon."

"What of it?"

Gwen snorted and rolled into his cube. "Don't be stupid, Merlin. He's fit, wealthy, and actually a good sort of man, if you get past the cockiness."

"But he's, you know—" Merlin made a vague sort of hand gesture towards his crotch that had Gwen covering her face with both of her hands in disbelief.

"Didn't need that."

"Sorry," said Merlin, unapologetically. He knew what a hussy Gwen really was.

"I'm cutting off your buddy time with Gwaine. He's obviously a bad influence.”

Merlin sighed, looking over his shoulder into Arthur’s office one final time. The door was still closed.

“Tell me about Lancelot,” he said, then smiled when Gwen’s entire face lit up. At least one of them was having luck in the romance department.

* * *

To: apendragon@camelot.com  
From: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: last night

can you stop hiding from me so we can talk?!

 

To: apendragon@camelot.com  
From: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: last night

Arthur I'm serious, you misunderstood

 

To: apendragon@camelot.com  
From: memrys@camelot.com  
Subject: RE: RE: last night

i'm sorry

 

Arthur sighed and looked at the time on his laptop. 7:30 p.m. He probably outlasted his father this night. Surely Merlin was long gone by now. He had no idea why Merlin was so _obstinate_ , but it killing him. Last night he had thought, well, maybe this is for the best. Now I can get over this stupid _thing_. No problem.

Except Merlin was apparently much crueler than Arthur realised. 

"What are you still doing here?"

Merlin looked up from his mobile to scowl at Arthur. He was sitting directly in front of Arthur's office on Sophia's desk, using her chair as a foot rest. "I thought you were going to be in there all night."

"I should have done. Maybe then you'd get the message."

"Not until you listen to me."

Arthur frowned and walked to the lift, ignoring Merlin as he scrambled after him. Perhaps he should take the stairs. Sure, they were on the 15th floor, but at least that should dissuade Merlin from following him. He sighed and pressed the down button. There were tactical retreats, and then there was being an outright coward.

"You're being stubborn."

" _I'm_ being stubborn? Excuse me? At least I'm not flouncing out of pubs before you even finish speaking!"

"I don't flounce!" said Arthur, outraged.

"And then you had to go off and have the strop of a lifetime over nothing!"

"Maybe to you it's nothing," Arthur said, stung, "but this hasn't actually been easy for me, Merlin."

"No, no, that's not what I mean!" Merlin scrubbed at his hair in frustration, but was prevented from explaining himself when their lift arrived. He followed Arthur into the lift and jabbed at the button for the ground floor. And then he whirled on Arthur, eyes narrowed and lips pressed in a tight, determined line. 

Arthur was beginning to rethink the merits of cowardice. Maybe he should have taken the stairs after all. Merlin seemed to read this in Arthur's expression, because he suddenly reached over and pressed every button from 15 to the ground floor.

"Oi! What did you do that for?"

"It'll give us more time to talk."

Arthur gaped in disbelief when the lift doors opened on the 14th floor. "It's going to take us forever to get to the lobby."

"Stop prevaricating." The lift doors closed again. "Look, clearly I am absolute pants at talking about my 'feelings.' What I _meant_ to say at the bar was that I might actually be a little gay. At least, for you. I mean, the whole 'bending me over your desk' thing is sort of—hot." 

Arthur stared at Merlin in disbelief. He would think Merlin was having him on, except that his ears were red. Actually, his whole face was red.

"Okay, really hot," Merlin admitted, suddenly looking anywhere but at Arthur. "I haven't actually had a lot of time to think about it, but when I do—um." Merlin ducked his head. Even his neck was red. 

The lift doors pinged open on the 9th floor.

"So, you have eight ears," Arthur said, a little dazedly, after a long moment of tense silence and two more floors.

"Well, you know what they say," said Merlin, all of a sudden looking extremely pleased with himself. "I'm all ears."

Arthur slid a hand down his face, laughing in spite of himself. Something in his chest gave way completely. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Oh, come on! That was brilliant!"

When Arthur dropped his hand from his face, it was to find Merlin staring so fondly at him that he said, in one last ditch effort to protect himself, "I'll not be some sort of experiment. If you're not completely sure about this whole—into blokes thing, then you can just fuck right off."

Merlin smiled at him, a slow, broad smile that dimpled his cheeks and crinkled his eyes, more amused by Arthur's prickly defense than offended by it. "That's where you'll have to trust me."

And it was stupid, really, and so risky, but Merlin looked so vulnerable and so open that Arthur had to grab him by his upper arms and kiss him, right as the lift doors opened to the 5th floor. 

The End


End file.
